I have been thinking about modesty and discussing it with some friends. This is a subject close to my heart, and I have been reading this post What To Wear this morning on Cam’s blog, which I really relate to.

This is not a question of legalism, but, as St. Paul writes “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient. All things are lawful for me, but all things do not edify. Let no man seek his own, but that which is another’s.” (1 Corinthians 10:22-24) and although Paul is talking here about eating food offered to idols, there are, I believe, some important points which relate to the issue of how we dress and present ourselves.

Modesty doesn’t just refer to dress, but means:

• having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one’s merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions.
• free from ostentation or showy extravagance: a modest house.
• having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; decent: a modest neckline on a dress.

…and I love these defintions of “modest” which cover so much more than just covering up one’s cleavage! It is an attitude of the heart in many areas of our lives…favouring simplicity over being ostentatious, for one…and being humble, and not vain…the root of the word is the same as that of “moderate”, and modesty simply means to moderate our appearance, habits and behaviour.

But to return to the subject of dress, while it may not be “unlawful” to dress in the prevailing, skimpy/ tight modern fashions, it isn’t edifying, to ourselves or to others, to wear clothes which reveal vast amounts of flesh, or are so tight that our underwear/body shape are clearly visible to others. As a married woman, I feel that the sight of certain parts of my body is for my husbands eyes only, and of course I have no problem with my daughters seeing me in various states of dress/undress! But when outside in the wider world, I aim to dress in a way which doesn’t tempt any man’s eyes to stare, and doesn’t make me look ridiculous! One of my “bug bears” is women wearing shorts ~ they have to be the most unflattering form of female attire I have ever come across! As to what to wear in hot weather, today I am feeling cool and comfortable in a long (almost ankle length) swirly cotton skirt and a short-sleeved white cotton blouse. I not only look but probably feel cooler than some of my contemporaries in shorts and vest tops, who aren’t protcted from the sun, and don’t have that lovely cool feeling on their bare legs covered by a long skirt, which makes its own breeze when walking around!

I would never advocate a complete covering up, such as some Muslim women do by wearing a burkha, as I feel the reasons why they do so are oppressive. We do not need to cover our smiles, or make ourselves look like a walking tent in order to be modest…but there is a distinct femininity to modest clothing, which others will respond to and respect. I don’t buy into the argument used for such garments either that they will lead a man to rape a woman (which is what some Islamic Scholars claim) but all the same, it is true that men respond primarily to women visually, and if I dress in a way which is provocative, then I may cause a brother to stumble. This is particularly important in Church…do I want the man sat behind me at Mass to be distracted by a patch of bare skin between my trousers and top? Or the priest to see my cleavage when I receive comunion? No!

I do wear trousers, because one can be modest in trousers and immodest in a skirt, depending on how one wears them! But I don’t wear tight, revealing trouser with short tops. I team them up with longer tops which cover the hips as in my photo below, or wear trousers which are loose and not figure-hugging. Studies have shown that when people are looking at a picture of a woman in a dress their eyes are drawn to her face; when looking at a woman in tight trousers, their eyes are drawn to the crotch area!

I feel that how we dress to go to Church is important, too. When I go to Mass, I am going to meet with the real presence of Christ. Whe I go out for a special meal or celebration with family or friends, I choose my clothes carefully and dress in something which reflects the importance of the occasion. Why then would I feel it’s ok to go to Mass in scruffy jeans with holes in the knees, or in shorts and a t-shirt such as I would wear on the beach? I also cover my head at Mass, but that is more to do with reverence than modesty. There is good article on the Fish Eaters website on modesty, the views of which I aspire to as a traditional Catholic.

Modesty is an attitude of the heart above all things ~ avoiding sin and aiming to please God. I have also found it to be an adventure in feminine expression, for as a woman, I want to look like one! How about you? I would love to see a return to the fashions of the 1940s…

…and yes, I do wear an apron!

“In like manner women also in decent apparel: adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety, not with plaited hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly attire, But as it becometh women professing godliness, with good works.” 

1 Timothy 2:9-10